I Can't Fight this Feeling Anymore by Jet Mykles

http://networkedblogs.com/PSIaB

Who knew that my voice had eyes! Peek a boo! I review you!

So tonight someone posted a comment on facebook regarding authors and book reviewers. Now in the past I read a book and I had to be REALLY moved to post a comment or review. Something had to drive me towards making that drastic a decision – to actually share my opinion. Reading for me is very personal and I realize that what I get from a book is really about where I am at a particular point in time. My love of m/m romance is directly related to where I am in my life right now. I get that. Trust me I do!

However, in my professional life, I’m fairly blunt, straightforward and to the point. Yes I’m saying it THRICE to ensure that you get that exactly what I’m saying. I WILL call a spade a spade – no two ways about it.  So let’s get to my point about this blog.  In my facebook life, I’ve met someone – an author- who asks that we be kind to authors.  I’m so glad she clarified what she meant.  She requests that we give ‘constructive criticism’ and not lambaste peoples lives and characters amidst our reviews. I can get behind that … literally and figuratively.

I believe that if you plan to do something, you should do it WELL.  Well begun is half done and all those jargon.  I hate HALF ASSED. Bugs the crap out of me. In my reading travels, I’m sure I’ve mentioned that I’ve read somewhere in the vicinity of 800 m/m romances. Trust me I know a good book when I see and read it .. and not all the books that rise to popularity are necessarily among the best.  I have my fave authors of course and I think people might be surprised who they are. Their stories in MY opinion were well crafted and designed to take a reader on a journey – when that is done well – it’s a wonderful thing. You don’t just get a few minutes or hours of suspended disbelief.  Instead what you get is a story that stays with you, because you connected with it SO strongly that it has become something which shapes your life and alters the way you see, feel and think.  THAT is good literature. I hope that some of the m/m authors aspire to this - taking their novels and making them LITERATURE.

I’m not a writer. I think I can probably dabble and do an okay job. And by okay I mean a solid 6.5/7 out of 10. BUT I have met some authors in this genre who are solidly in the 8 and 9 realm. Like I said, I’ve read over 800 books … I know a good book and author when I see them. When I first entertained the notion of even thinking of writing, a friend of mine suggested that I read Michael Frey’s, How to write a damn good novel.  He has a series of books which are easy reads for those getting into writing. Check them all out. Oh my good Lord, once I was done with that book and started to take notes, I realized just how daunting a task writing would be and I had even more respect for those who tackled the challenge and conquered … an even bigger appreciation was had for those who did it well.

Anyhoo, today I made YET another change in my life. I put a call out to the universe to be a book reviewer for the m/m genre and the call was answered. I hope that all the things I’ve said here, I an offer and do constructively for writers. I love the m/m genre and I think that I can make a good contribution to the field by giving writers a fair evaluation so that a reader can determine the road they’d like to take. But I’m also hoping that whatever I say regarding ‘the work’ will be taken just as that and not some personal slight … further I hope anything I say will urge a writer to continue to improve and hone their craft to the betterment of those of us who live to read their lovely characters they create and the stories they weave for us. 

From Support to Completion

It's often amazing where support comes from in your life.  There you are thinking that you are all alone and then you find yourself in a place where people are really concerned about you and your goals and suddenly the things that seemed impossible are suddenly possible.  I met a wonderful person whom I never expected to meet. I made a random comment and then support I didn't even know I needed or wanted was there.  I'm always supported by my friends and family, but there are some things that are so personal, that you don't always share them with John Q Public, because they might think you weird or strange. The harder one is when they think that your dreams, plans and aspirations are too lofty for you to achieve.

But what happens when those dreams plans or aspirations don't meet the ideas and thoughts of others in society? What happens when in a world full of squares you are a hexagon? The world is built on logic and reason, but here you are with all of your sides that need to be seen and explored. What happens then? Whom should you allow to guide you on the journey? Should you follow convention or should you allow yourself to dare to dream big?

Support is important in life. We will often fail if there is no cheerleader or ass whipper.  We need them both. We need the person to crack the whip to remind us when we forget of what our goals are and what they mean to us. Then we need our supporters to buoy us up when we flag or fall.

This arc in my life is an interesting one. I dont' need this arc. It's not going to make me richer, happier or more popular. So why am I embarking upon it?  Well to see if I can.  To see if I could contribute to a world which I love and enjoy. We all have a voice and its our duty and obligation to share that voice, especially if it's a contralto in a world full of alto's and baritones.

So I'm finding my voice ...it's a staring it's ... tenor.

INVEGA for sure

I've always enjoyed writing, I find the process extremely cathartic.  Sometimes it's biting and vitriolic because I have stuff to get off my chest and other times I just want to dialog about stuff that happened in my day. But like I said before,I've begun to think that I have a voice and things I need to say. It's starting out really small but I think that I've found my voice.

INVEGA is a drug that I think I should investigate. Finding my voice means that I live in a few different worlds. Remember a few years ago when Second Life was all the rage and the kids were living there and people couldn't get it. Then we all invented avatars for ourselves. Now facebook allows us Mafia Wars, Farmville and Candy Crush. Those don't do much for me, but finding this voice of mine - well that is a seriously schizophrenic experience to say the least.

Because here's the deal. I'm me. I'll always be me. But I'm also HIM. And the scary thing is that he actually sometimes feels more like me that I do.  Yeah, weird,I know, but hey that's my current reality.

Who am I really

A few years ago, I was home recovering from a brief illness.  Bored out of my mind, I started trolling Netflix to watch movies. I happened upon a number of gay themed movies. Stands to reason that I'd enjoy them, right? What it started was an all out obsession with gay themed cinema and literature.  And no I wasn't interested in classic literature like Maurice or anything like that, I wanted hot trashy nonsense. Well I found it in droves.

A friend then introduced me to the m/m genre in the form of Tere Michaels. It took me a while to even read one of her books, instead I opted for Jeff Erno and I fell in love.  Over the years I've bought and now own a substantial amount of works in the m/m genre. I love it, with one exception.  While authors do a great job talking about how men fall in love and evolve, even when they are werewolves, vampires, demons and incubeses, they still have NOT managed to craft a well written black man.

I have found a few authors who write in the interracial realm and I applaud them, in fact if I wrote, I'd probably explore that realm as well. However, how about the trials of two black men trying to find love in a world that isn't designed for them to do so? What of them?

So I have been challenged to find my voice if I can in this genre.  I've given myself until December 2014 so the clock is now officially ticking.